A Public Apology

It seems I have offended quite a few people by not providing updates as often as they would like with regards to my new job and so on. I honestly thought people would think I sounded like a broken record if I kept saying the same things over and over and over again, because that was all I could think of to say. I did not intend to hurt anyone, but I know people have been hurt and people are upset with me. Frankly, right now, I'm rather upset myself, because it seems vastly unfair for people to ask me to deal with my own feelings and then deal with their feelings on top of that without some time to adjust. We're talking about having gotten used to one way of doing things for most of the last fourteen years, and now I'm a fish out of water. It's really tough, can't anyone see that? It's a struggle. Not because anyone's making things hard for me, no one is, it's just a struggle, a huge struggle. Keeping my own emotions under as much control as I can is hard enough, then I get e-mails from people saying how hurt they are because of my failure to respond to e-mails I honestly don't remember getting. I know other people's feelings are important, at least as important as my own, but so are mine, and to tell you the truth, if my career change has disrupted so many lives, I honestly can't deal with it right now. Nobody's feeling my pain, nobody's acknowledging how tough it is for me, all I'm getting is oh, you'll get over it, bla bla bla. Yet I'm supposed to bend over backwards to acknowledge veryone else's pain?
All I can say is I've not intentionally hurt anyone, just as I know nobody's intentionally hurt me. If I hurt someone unintentionally, I truly am sorry ... but right now, it's all I can do to keep afloat. It's all I can do every weekday morning to keep from jumping up and bolting like some frightened animal when I realize I have eight hours ahead of me. It's all I can do to put on the "don't worry, be happy" facade at work so I don't get fired. It's all I can do to keep my own life together right now, let alone anyone else's. I'll make mistakes, I'll forget things. I'll be wrong for doing so, just as I already have been wrong for doing so. Please, try to cut me a little slack for a bit until I get adjusted. I mean well. I goof up, but I mean well.

All In All, A Great Day

Work went quite well today. I proofread the wild, wacky and wonderful The World of Marketing, can't wait for the movie, plus a few cute short stories. This morning Sean arrived with my old chair from CNIB, along with some catch-up mail. After work it was off to Olive Garden with some of my nearest and dearest to celebrate the job. Everyone there had a major part to play in helping me land the job, and I was grateful and wanted to show my appreciation. A few phone calls, what looks like a failed attempt to install my second gigabyte of Ram, and now I'm way overdue for some sleep, but I had to start rectifying, or at least trying to, my error in not keeping up-to-date. I hope these daily or nearly-daily updates will start filling that void and acknowledging that there are wonderful people out there who care about what's happening with me. Good night everyone.