Happy Birthday Wishes

I feel really guilty for not wishing people happy birthday in LJ. I do need to rectify this. So belated happy birthdays go out to everyone in LJ who has ever had a birthday, and sincere happy birthdays go out to anyone who ever will have one. Have I missed anyone?

In Search of Manly Valentine's Day Poems

Anyone got any ideas for a Valentine's Day poem that isn't dripping with sap? How about something like

Our love is like a chainsaw
As it cuts through strife and fear,
My heart and soul go vroom vroom vroom
Whenever you are near.
No tree can ever stand between
The passion that we share,
And I need no instructions
On how to handle you with care.

Another Manly Valentine Idea

How about this, it's short and sweet:

Because I love you so darned much,
Here is what I'll do:
I'll change the toilet paper roll,
And leave the seat down, too.