Usually when I think about the scars I've left on people I think about learning something about the experience (and not doing it again for instance, learning something new about the person i've hurt, etc). It's a self defense mechanism-the knowledge that comes immediately afterwards is ameliorated pretty soon after.
This post for me at least was a reminder also about forgiving myself because when I think about how people have hurt me I try hard and usually succeed in forgiving them. At least the hurt eventually disappears when I've forgiven those who have scarred me.
When I've contemplated scars I've left on others, however, I forget about forgiving myself and the peace forgiveness brings. Scars inflicted are a double edged sword. We have to accept responsibility for healing ourselves too. It's naive to think others should be forgiven but we should not be.
I relate to your experiences nvr_brkn, even if you have not yet forgiven yourself for them. i think it's forgivable and every person should strive to find peace. There is no need to forget because we own that which shapes us, there is just a need to forgive.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: I'm naive enough to never have thought about the damage I've done to other people.
Date: 2008-01-15 07:34 pm (UTC)This post for me at least was a reminder also about forgiving myself because when I think about how people have hurt me I try hard and usually succeed in forgiving them. At least the hurt eventually disappears when I've forgiven those who have scarred me.
When I've contemplated scars I've left on others, however, I forget about forgiving myself and the peace forgiveness brings. Scars inflicted are a double edged sword. We have to accept responsibility for healing ourselves too. It's naive to think others should be forgiven but we should not be.
I relate to your experiences nvr_brkn, even if you have not yet forgiven yourself for them. i think it's forgivable and every person should strive to find peace. There is no need to forget because we own that which shapes us, there is just a need to forgive.