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Topic for Discussion
Okay, here's one. What do you do if you suddenly "wake up" to realizing
that the approval of other people has suddenly - or not-so-suddenly -
become more important to you than God's approval? I think even if you
don't believe in God, you might have something valuable to contribute
here, because there is an underlying idea that even transcends faith or
the lack thereof. If you don't believe in God, your question might
simply be, What do you do if you find yourself putting more stock in the
approval of others than you should?
that the approval of other people has suddenly - or not-so-suddenly -
become more important to you than God's approval? I think even if you
don't believe in God, you might have something valuable to contribute
here, because there is an underlying idea that even transcends faith or
the lack thereof. If you don't believe in God, your question might
simply be, What do you do if you find yourself putting more stock in the
approval of others than you should?
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I hope that didn't come out sounding like wishy washy garbage.
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For most people this is normal to an extent but my parents opinions on things like blindness etc. were very damaging to me.
My dad never wanted me to carry my white cane when we went out into public. He always said that I needed to use my eyesight or that I'd lose it and that he would tell me when and or if there was an object in my way. Well we went fishing in Alaska and I wanted to bring my cane with me because I was living on my own by then and was used to carrying it around. My father told me not to though, so I listened to him. Then I fell through a two foot gap in the boards of the dock on the ocean. I got the worst roadrash of my life and I got a wake up call.
I need to do what I believe and know to be right for myself and I believe that my relationship and prayers to the Goddess help me know what is right for me. That fall taught me to listen to my inner voice and to stop relying on others' opinions so much.
Now I'm having to relearn this as I enter the Deaf community and am afraid of what other people will think/say and I wonder if I am doing it right ( don't ask me what "it" is because I don't know).
This whole uncertainty is so different because I don't give two shakes about what people in the blind community think of me; I'll do what I like.
So what I'm trying to say in an over-long, round about way is that this is a life long struggle and that everyone has to come to grips with it in their own way.
Wordy much?
sorry.
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In short, you wouldn't know what's best for anyone else, so why in the hell would anyone else know what's best for you?
approval
People don't usually say, "I approve of you,"
rather, they say, "I disapprove of such and such" and so for me, when I overemphasize in my life wanting someone's approval, what I really want is their lack of disapproval.
The question then becomes, "Why does the thing about which they disapprove matter so much?"
For me, I used to get bent out of shape about being a "bad traveler."
I suddenly realized one day that I knew sighted people who had just as bad a time of orienting themselves as I did. I still tend to feel the need to proove myself to myself, but more often than not, I am comfortable with the fact that I travel safely, and can get where I need to go. Other blind people can think what they want about my ability to travel, but I try not to let it bother me.
I can think of at least two instances where my parents disapproved of things I did, but I finally said to them, "This is my life, and I"m making choices I feel comfortable with I'm sorry if you are not comfortable with those choices."
I am not christian, but from reading a bit here and there, here's my take on god from that perspective.
I personally feel god loves everyone equally, and neither approves or disapproves of our actions at the time we take them. In the end, god will judge, but free will means we have the ability to make choices without god judging the choices at the time.
remember that, like a parent, God can love you, and not approve of a thing, so don't confuse god's love, with god's ultimate judgement of you.