Wording Matters
May. 26th, 2020 02:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dogriverYesterday, I wrote a very heartfelt blog entry about a major concern I have with churches at this point in time. I have to tell you, I was very proud of what I'd done ... that should have been a warning sign right there. I had a point to make, yes, and I stand behind that point. But I'd been concentrating far too much on being dramatic.
I preach kindness to others. I believe in it with all my heart. I have all sorts of trouble with people who preach kindness and are themselves cruel and thoughtless in the way they present themselves. And yet ... that's what I did last night. Amid the point I was trying to make, I added comments which were cutting, cynical, and quite frankly, designed to sting. In short, I was not practising the kindness that I believe in so strongly. And in so doing, I sinned.
I saw some tweets today from a dear friend who was very clearly disappointed in me for the way I presented myself. I went through all the usual phases of someone who thinks they're in the right and that's all there is to it: first I decided to take her disappointment as some silly badge of honor; then I decided I needed to defend myself; then I decided that ignoring her was the thing to do. Pretty immature of me.
Then I felt God talking to me, the same God I feel had compelled me to write the blog entry in the first place. He started pointing out the unnecessary wording I'd used, wording of accusation, of contempt, wording so in opposition of the spirit of kindness that I believe in so strongly. Suddenly I was ashamed of myself, and rightly so. If I encourage others to be kind, and am not kind myself, my words are nothing more than vain profanities.
I'm sorry for the antagonistic approach I took in my blog entry. I'm sorry for not practising what I preach. I ask your forgiveness. I still strongly believe in the basic point I wanted to make, but I should have, from the beginning, made that point in love. I have tried going through my blog entry to soften the edges, to be more understanding, while at the same time not losing track of the basic point of what I wanted to say: we have an opportunity before us, we need to embrace it. I want to thank my friend for opening my eyes to my mistake. I want to apologize to anyone hurt or disappointed by the antagonistic tone I took. There are no excuses, I'm old enough to know better.
I preach kindness to others. I believe in it with all my heart. I have all sorts of trouble with people who preach kindness and are themselves cruel and thoughtless in the way they present themselves. And yet ... that's what I did last night. Amid the point I was trying to make, I added comments which were cutting, cynical, and quite frankly, designed to sting. In short, I was not practising the kindness that I believe in so strongly. And in so doing, I sinned.
I saw some tweets today from a dear friend who was very clearly disappointed in me for the way I presented myself. I went through all the usual phases of someone who thinks they're in the right and that's all there is to it: first I decided to take her disappointment as some silly badge of honor; then I decided I needed to defend myself; then I decided that ignoring her was the thing to do. Pretty immature of me.
Then I felt God talking to me, the same God I feel had compelled me to write the blog entry in the first place. He started pointing out the unnecessary wording I'd used, wording of accusation, of contempt, wording so in opposition of the spirit of kindness that I believe in so strongly. Suddenly I was ashamed of myself, and rightly so. If I encourage others to be kind, and am not kind myself, my words are nothing more than vain profanities.
I'm sorry for the antagonistic approach I took in my blog entry. I'm sorry for not practising what I preach. I ask your forgiveness. I still strongly believe in the basic point I wanted to make, but I should have, from the beginning, made that point in love. I have tried going through my blog entry to soften the edges, to be more understanding, while at the same time not losing track of the basic point of what I wanted to say: we have an opportunity before us, we need to embrace it. I want to thank my friend for opening my eyes to my mistake. I want to apologize to anyone hurt or disappointed by the antagonistic tone I took. There are no excuses, I'm old enough to know better.
